Jim's We(b Log)

TRAVEL

2008-06-28T22:00:00.001-07:00

Amsterdam? More like Amsterboring.

POLITICS

2008-01-02T16:45:00.001-08:00

The difference between me and Nancy Grace is that I want answers and she wants justice.

ENTERTAINMENT

2007-12-10T21:17:00.000-08:00

No need to see the upcoming movie Penelope because I already know that it proves that it's the inside that counts.

SCIENCE

2007-05-19T02:00:00.000-07:00

You might think 10 million is a high number but it's not if your talking about sperm count.

RELIGION

2007-05-14T23:46:00.000-07:00

If Thomas Monson turned into a zombie, I'm certain his moans would still have that storyteller cadence.

TECHNOLOGY

2007-04-09T18:37:00.000-07:00

The internet is going to change everything.

RANDOM STUFF

2007-03-07T01:49:00.001-08:00

I have this friend Pablo that looks exactly like a turnip.

MOVIES

2007-02-07T12:08:00.000-08:00

There's a part in Norbit when this fat lady get's in a car crash and her boobs are so big that it's like an airbag that protects her.

MOVIES

2007-01-21T23:24:00.000-08:00

Add Norbitt to your list of "must see" movies.

MOVIES

2006-11-30T00:13:00.000-08:00

I just watched House Boat with Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bulloch and it was a pile of crap.

MOVIES

2006-11-17T10:18:00.000-08:00

Anyone know what Verne Troyer is up to these days?

ART

2006-10-27T11:59:00.000-07:00

(click to enlarge)

PHILOSOPHY

2006-10-25T13:46:00.000-07:00

If there is one word I want to capture how I try to live my life, that word would be INTEGRITY.

POLITICS

2006-10-20T15:19:00.000-07:00

Al Gore will not make President in the next election because people don't want a virgin in the White House.

TV

2006-09-29T02:11:00.000-07:00

The show "24" proves that sometimes you have to take people out.

CUISINE

2006-09-13T01:33:00.000-07:00

I never though I'd say this but I'm getting sick of Hot Pockets.

MOVIES

2006-09-04T02:25:00.000-07:00

Nachos is the wrong treat to get when you watch Passion of Christ.

FASHION

2006-08-31T16:55:00.000-07:00

Don't bother trying Axe Body Spray. It doesn't work.

LEISURE

2006-08-28T00:30:00.000-07:00

I found out the hard way that your not allowed to bring corn to Hawaii.

FASHION

2006-08-22T20:46:00.000-07:00

For the longest time I thought the Tommy Bahamas label in my shirt said Tommy Bananas.

MUSIC

2006-08-16T11:12:00.000-07:00

My brother Terrence wants to name his band Montecore after the tiger that attacked Siegfried Fishbacher in Las Vegas.

TV

2006-08-15T12:57:00.000-07:00

On Girls Gone Wild there's a scene where this girl (who has obviously gone wild) is skydiving without her top and her boobs are flapping all over the heavens.

SAYINGS

2006-07-23T16:49:00.000-07:00

If it is true that you become what you do, than I would be a level 41 warlock.

INTERNET

2006-06-08T16:39:00.000-07:00

Even though I am still on hiatus, I wanted to share this letter I wrote to the Webmaster at feardotcom.com. I have not received a reply.

Dear Webmaster,

Against my better judgment, I logged on to your site, feardotcom.com. I have to admit, you are running a pretty frightful operation although contrary to your claim that it will be the last website I will ever visit, I have checked my email twice since I first logged on to feardotcom.com.

I am writing you to inform you that I am having difficulty accessing all of the contents of your website. The counter where it says how many hours I have left to live doesn't seem to be working. This is causing me anxiety. As unreliable as websites are wont to be in this digital age, I would think that such petty technical difficulties at a website of your stature would be non-existant. Which makes me wonder, is it a technical difficulty or is there some other reason that it won't tell me how many hours I have left to live?

As far as the rest of the site is concerned, everything else seems to be working pretty good. I particularly thought the Body Game was fun yet harrowing to play.

I would like to submit another query: do you guys use in-house programmers trained in the ways of the Occult or do you outsource web management? I would think in-house, given the fatal nature of your business. While some might take for granted your knowledge of the mysterious ways of the Occult, they should also be aware that you are fluent in the ways of HTML and Flash. Do you guys use Dreamweaver?

Finally, I liked that Udo Kier was in your movie. People don't realize how prolific an actor he is, even in non-vampiric roles. I saw him at Sundance last year. He was there attending the movie Dogville (which should have been called Dogshit) in lieu of the director who could not make it to the United States due to fear of flying. He wore a puffy white snow coat and had a beautiful supermodel in his arm. He is the ultimate German frightmarish character and it was smart to insert him in your movie. I can't help but think that he is also involved heavily in the Occult. Is he?

Sincerely,

J. Weed

P.S. Does your site still kill people if cookies are disabled in their web browsers?

LEISURE

2006-05-01T14:02:00.000-07:00

I think that out of all the moves that my friends and I have invented, The Jolly Rancher is still the best one.

PSYCHOLOGY

2006-04-22T13:38:00.000-07:00

I keep having dreams about Gary Busey.

FANTASY

2006-04-06T07:42:00.000-07:00

Oh, that I were a crow.

FASHION

2006-04-04T17:03:00.000-07:00

The Ann Taylor LOFT website is a website full of lies.

PSYCHOLOGY

2006-03-28T16:57:00.000-08:00

I regretted my experiment in "thinking out loud" the moment I asked my friend whether she would go to the poop festival if there was such a thing.

CUISINE

2006-03-23T15:18:00.000-08:00

Except for the opening flash animation, the Carl Buddig website is a disappointment.

FITNESS

2006-03-21T21:00:00.000-08:00

Today I went to the gym where I am able to transform hard work into fitness.

PSYCHOLOGY

2006-03-13T23:28:00.000-08:00

We were playing with a ouija board the other night and I asked it some serious questions that only I know the answer to and it was wrong.

FASHION

2006-03-07T19:10:00.000-08:00

Sorry, but the new Kate Spade spring collection is lousy.

MOVIES

2006-03-03T09:03:00.000-08:00

Does anyone remember that movie where the main character is just a girl who is asking a guy to like her and he says no but then changes his mind later after his friend calls him a daft prick?

CUISINE

2006-03-01T21:57:00.000-08:00

Grape is my favorite refreshment and I've had to get use to the fact that they never offer it in restaurants or at the movies.

ECONOMY

2006-02-27T21:32:00.000-08:00

The salon where I have been a patron for the last 9 years, Excellent Barber, is going out of business thanks to big companies like Walmart and Home Depot.

PSYCHOLOGY

2006-02-22T22:09:00.000-08:00

I keep having these sex dreams with Morgan Fairchild who I haven't had a crush on for over 5 years and it's really starting to bother my mind.

MOVIES

2006-02-15T00:08:00.000-08:00

I just watched an old movie that Burt Reynolds plays in called Deliverance and if your thinking about watching it, no need.

COMEDY

2006-02-13T17:10:00.000-08:00

Knock knock.

TELEVISION

2006-02-09T10:50:00.000-08:00

I can't believe they cancelled Arrested Development because that show is the epitomy of hilarious.

MOVIES

2006-02-01T06:23:00.000-08:00

I am almost finished writing my screenplay I Slept With William Hung but am really struggling with the third act.

CUISINE

2006-01-30T06:39:00.000-08:00

For the second time in my life I broke a promise I made to myself to never eat at Fazoli's.

PSYCHOLOGY

2006-01-25T02:22:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had about the worse headache I've ever had in this life.

THE ARTS

2006-01-23T02:26:00.000-08:00

If you've never seen M.C. Escher's work, then you don't know the meaning of trippy.

FASHION

2006-01-19T00:41:00.000-08:00

Today I saw a guy wearing pleated pants and I was like, you don't.

PHILOSOPHY

2006-01-12T14:36:00.000-08:00

Today is one of those days where about the only thing you can do is shrug your shoulders and say "Hakuna matata."

ENTERTAINMENT

2006-01-06T22:33:00.000-08:00

Not to brag, but my letter to the editor got published in Cat Fancy.

PSYCHOLOGY

2006-01-04T14:50:00.000-08:00

My friend Emily (who is depressed) told me she bowled a 38 the other night which is horrible and I told her at least it wasn't life that she got a 38 in.

POLITICS

2006-01-02T22:19:00.000-08:00

How about this? Good thing we don't have a lady for the president other wise we'd go to war at least once a month! LOL.

MOVIES

2005-12-29T19:01:00.000-08:00

I got the Boat Trip DVD for Christmas and let me just say, hilarious.

CONFLICT

2005-12-27T14:21:00.000-08:00

My brother Terrence called me a ham but he's the one whose the ham.

ENTERTAINMENT

2005-12-26T15:13:00.000-08:00

The thing I don't get is why the level designers of on Star Wars: Battlefront II think being lost is fun. Or why the chewbaccas cheat so bad. Or why it takes 90 light years to reload your shotgun. All needless things.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2005-12-25T00:49:00.000-08:00

I hope "yule" have the best holiday season ever!

MOVIES

2005-12-22T10:33:00.000-08:00

Although Ray Harryhausen would say Jason of the Argonauts is his best piece, I'd part ways with him there and say that Clash of the Titans was his best movie even though I'm no fan of Harry Hamblin or Burgess Meredith.

THAT TIME OF YEAR

2005-12-21T14:08:00.000-08:00

The Christmas season is upon us. In a matter of days, it will be Chritmas Day. I hope all of my close peeps have been doing there shopping ;).

MY BLOG

2005-12-20T02:10:00.000-08:00

Oh yeah, my class I was doing this blog for is over is why I haven't posted for a good spell. I haven't decided yet of I'm going to keep doing the blog, now that the class is over.

CUISINE

2005-12-13T10:44:00.000-08:00

OMG! My uncle who looks like the man in the moon drinks his buttermilk straight up.

MOVIES

2005-12-12T11:31:00.000-08:00

If there's one thing I love it's going to the movies and if there's one thing I hate, it's when I spilled my refreshment all over my lap when I was at the movies last Friday. Arghhh!

CONFLICT

2005-12-09T00:08:00.000-08:00

My brother Terrence and I are not talking right now because he stole my book of free recipies which I would have loaned to him if he would have just asked. Instead, he took it without asking and I damn hate that.

TELEVISION

2005-12-07T12:59:00.000-08:00

I've never seen the show Lost so last night when I was watching it with my friends, I was the one who was "lost." LOL!

CHRISTMAS

2005-12-06T11:51:00.000-08:00

I wonder if yet again my mom is going to do her Christmas shopping at the island of unwanted toys.

COMEDY

2005-12-05T08:05:00.000-08:00

I think jokes about Viagra are pretty funny because, you know, boners.

CONFESSION

2005-11-29T19:36:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid I wanted to be Burt Reynolds and now that I'm older, I still want to be him. You can tell he has everything under control.

THANKSGIVING

2005-11-28T11:33:00.000-08:00

I refused to eat turkey, not because of my politics, but because I don't want damn bird flu. This led to a lot of contention in the household; my folks just don't get it so I am forced to humor them.

MEMORIES

2005-11-23T12:26:00.000-08:00

There use to be this kid in school named Joab who thought he was Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse who was silent, but tough. Truth be told, he was more like a complete idiot than anything.

TELEVISION

2005-11-21T10:17:00.000-08:00

You can tell that that kid Talin on The O.C. was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

FASHION

2005-11-18T11:11:00.000-08:00

I'm usually not one to splurge, but I have been known to shop at The Gap on occasion.

HALLOWEEN REDUX

2005-11-16T00:02:00.000-08:00

I forgot to insert this on my blog earlier but this year for Halloween I was a vampirate.

PSYCHOLOGY

2005-11-15T10:28:00.000-08:00

Sometimes life is nothing but a nonstop roast.

CUISINE

2005-11-14T14:19:00.000-08:00

If I smell like red curry, its because I spilled some on my outfit this morning.

PSYCHOLOGY

2005-11-11T09:27:00.000-08:00

Earlier this week I had depression but it banished as soon as I took some of St. John's Wart.

POLITICS

2005-11-10T09:33:00.000-08:00

I want to make some thing clear re: my recent post about hate crimes. I CANNOT STAND THEM. I am tired of others questioning me on my stance on this topic.

POLITICS

2005-11-09T09:46:00.000-08:00

Yet another thing to add to the list of things I hate: hate crime.

CUISINE

2005-11-08T10:53:00.000-08:00

My friend Pablo has an idea for a seasonal beverage called Big Nog and I think that's about the worst idea ever. (He doesn't know a thing about this website so I can vent about him all I want).

ROLLER BLADES

2005-11-07T14:21:00.000-08:00

My blades are back safely in their pouch where I keep them.

FALSE ALARM

2005-11-03T09:25:00.000-08:00

I forgot I told my friend she could use my baldes so never mind on them getting stolen. My bad.

FRUSTRATING EVENT

2005-11-01T10:41:00.000-08:00

Yesterday my brand new pair of rollerblades were stolen. We're talking $200 blades that I've only used twice. Nothing drives me more batty than needless thieving.

TREATS

2005-10-30T22:46:00.000-08:00

If I ever meet the man who invented the caramel apple, I'm gonna say, "Here's to you, gov'nah! Keep them caramel apples a'comin."

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

2005-10-28T00:41:00.000-07:00

CUISINE

2005-10-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

I never realized this before, but Alfredo is both the name of a person and the name of a sauce.

ARGHHH!

2005-10-19T20:26:00.000-07:00

I currently have the biggest headache I've ever had in this life.

BREAKING NEWS

2005-10-14T10:42:00.000-07:00

I just found out that my favorite actor Peter Mayhew just become a US citizen.

GAYS

2005-10-13T11:27:00.000-07:00

What, they're good enough to plan your wedding but not good enough to have there own?

EDUCATION

2005-10-12T09:40:00.000-07:00

I'm supposed to be doing other homework right now but I say "screw that!" Sometimes you have to just let your hair down. This does not mean that I think it's okay to say "yes" to drugs.

MOVIES

2005-10-10T09:47:00.000-07:00

Shrek is such a funny ogre. Real ogres typically don't have that good of a sense of humor. I think Shrek HAS to be funny to make up for how ugly he is.

MOVIES

2005-10-06T11:29:00.000-07:00

My brother Terrence told me that he's not going to do ANY substance abuse until the the night the new Harry Potter comes out.

MOVIES

2005-10-05T20:41:00.000-07:00

I just looked up the black guy in Radio on the internet and his name is Cuba Gooding Jr. and he also plays in Boat Trip which is about a ship full of gays.

WHAT ANIMAL ARE YOU?

2005-10-02T22:07:00.000-07:00

My brother Terrence said that if I was an animal I'd be a hedgehog and I hate to say it, but he's right.

TV

2005-09-27T00:22:00.000-07:00

My childhood crush on Tina Yothers ended when she played the titular role in Spunk: The Tonya Harding Story.

MOVIES

2005-09-21T18:00:00.000-07:00

I never cry in movies but the black guy's performance in Radio was so money that I lost it. I can hardly fathom that he is not handicap in real life.

RELIGION

2005-09-19T01:17:00.000-07:00

And God spoke, "Are we having fun yet?" LOL.

MOVIES

2005-09-15T14:26:00.000-07:00

Does anyone know if Christopher Columbus (the director, not the Captain of the Sea) has directed anything since Patch Adams and Bicentenniel Man?

LEISURE

2005-09-14T01:45:00.000-07:00

If anyone knows how to play "Human Bingo," please let me know quick.

CUISINE

2005-09-13T01:26:00.000-07:00

Two Words: Olive Garden.

MUSIC

2005-09-08T16:39:00.000-07:00

I just spent the past 4 hours discovering Josh Groban and let's just say that I now what all of the hullaballoo is about. AMAZING!

LEISURE

2005-09-07T13:41:00.000-07:00

Nothing drives me more crazy in the world of gaming than when I am compelled to utter the following four words: "You sank my battleship."

POLITICS

2005-09-01T12:09:00.000-07:00

Freedom is more than just a word.

CUISINE

2005-08-31T17:06:00.000-07:00

My brother Terrence has an idea for a product called "I Can't Believe I Ate All The Butter" but I don't think it will fly.

MOVIES

2005-08-30T10:41:00.000-07:00

In Jerry McGuire, I die laughing every time the black guy says, "Show me the money." More like, show me the money.

HAPPENINGS

2005-08-28T21:34:00.000-07:00

The other day I saw these two dogs humping in public like a bunch of perverts.