Jim's We(b Log)

This blog is what I have to do for my class. I figure if I'm going to do it, why not go all out? If you have a question or some such, you could email me at jimsweblog@gmail.com.

Location: mizzou, United States

Saturday, June 28, 2008


Amsterdam? More like Amsterboring.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008


The difference between me and Nancy Grace is that I want answers and she wants justice.

Monday, December 10, 2007


No need to see the upcoming movie Penelope because I already know that it proves that it's the inside that counts.

Saturday, May 19, 2007


You might think 10 million is a high number but it's not if your talking about sperm count.

Monday, May 14, 2007


If Thomas Monson turned into a zombie, I'm certain his moans would still have that storyteller cadence.

Monday, April 09, 2007


The internet is going to change everything.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007


I have this friend Pablo that looks exactly like a turnip.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007


There's a part in Norbit when this fat lady get's in a car crash and her boobs are so big that it's like an airbag that protects her.

Sunday, January 21, 2007


Add Norbitt to your list of "must see" movies.

Thursday, November 30, 2006


I just watched House Boat with Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bulloch and it was a pile of crap.

Friday, November 17, 2006


Anyone know what Verne Troyer is up to these days?

Friday, October 27, 2006


(click to enlarge)

Wednesday, October 25, 2006


If there is one word I want to capture how I try to live my life, that word would be INTEGRITY.

Friday, October 20, 2006


Al Gore will not make President in the next election because people don't want a virgin in the White House.

Friday, September 29, 2006


The show "24" proves that sometimes you have to take people out.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006


I never though I'd say this but I'm getting sick of Hot Pockets.

Monday, September 04, 2006


Nachos is the wrong treat to get when you watch Passion of Christ.

Thursday, August 31, 2006


Don't bother trying Axe Body Spray. It doesn't work.

Monday, August 28, 2006


I found out the hard way that your not allowed to bring corn to Hawaii.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006


For the longest time I thought the Tommy Bahamas label in my shirt said Tommy Bananas.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006


My brother Terrence wants to name his band Montecore after the tiger that attacked Siegfried Fishbacher in Las Vegas.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006


On Girls Gone Wild there's a scene where this girl (who has obviously gone wild) is skydiving without her top and her boobs are flapping all over the heavens.

Sunday, July 23, 2006


If it is true that you become what you do, than I would be a level 41 warlock.

Thursday, June 08, 2006


Even though I am still on hiatus, I wanted to share this letter I wrote to the Webmaster at feardotcom.com. I have not received a reply.

Dear Webmaster,

Against my better judgment, I logged on to your site, feardotcom.com. I have to admit, you are running a pretty frightful operation although contrary to your claim that it will be the last website I will ever visit, I have checked my email twice since I first logged on to feardotcom.com.

I am writing you to inform you that I am having difficulty accessing all of the contents of your website. The counter where it says how many hours I have left to live doesn't seem to be working. This is causing me anxiety. As unreliable as websites are wont to be in this digital age, I would think that such petty technical difficulties at a website of your stature would be non-existant. Which makes me wonder, is it a technical difficulty or is there some other reason that it won't tell me how many hours I have left to live?

As far as the rest of the site is concerned, everything else seems to be working pretty good. I particularly thought the Body Game was fun yet harrowing to play.

I would like to submit another query: do you guys use in-house programmers trained in the ways of the Occult or do you outsource web management? I would think in-house, given the fatal nature of your business. While some might take for granted your knowledge of the mysterious ways of the Occult, they should also be aware that you are fluent in the ways of HTML and Flash. Do you guys use Dreamweaver?

Finally, I liked that Udo Kier was in your movie. People don't realize how prolific an actor he is, even in non-vampiric roles. I saw him at Sundance last year. He was there attending the movie Dogville (which should have been called Dogshit) in lieu of the director who could not make it to the United States due to fear of flying. He wore a puffy white snow coat and had a beautiful supermodel in his arm. He is the ultimate German frightmarish character and it was smart to insert him in your movie. I can't help but think that he is also involved heavily in the Occult. Is he?


J. Weed

P.S. Does your site still kill people if cookies are disabled in their web browsers?

Monday, May 01, 2006


I think that out of all the moves that my friends and I have invented, The Jolly Rancher is still the best one.

Saturday, April 22, 2006


I keep having dreams about Gary Busey.

Thursday, April 06, 2006


Oh, that I were a crow.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006


The Ann Taylor LOFT website is a website full of lies.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006


I regretted my experiment in "thinking out loud" the moment I asked my friend whether she would go to the poop festival if there was such a thing.

Thursday, March 23, 2006


Except for the opening flash animation, the Carl Buddig website is a disappointment.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006


Today I went to the gym where I am able to transform hard work into fitness.

Monday, March 13, 2006


We were playing with a ouija board the other night and I asked it some serious questions that only I know the answer to and it was wrong.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006


Sorry, but the new Kate Spade spring collection is lousy.

Friday, March 03, 2006


Does anyone remember that movie where the main character is just a girl who is asking a guy to like her and he says no but then changes his mind later after his friend calls him a daft prick?

Wednesday, March 01, 2006


Grape is my favorite refreshment and I've had to get use to the fact that they never offer it in restaurants or at the movies.

Monday, February 27, 2006


The salon where I have been a patron for the last 9 years, Excellent Barber, is going out of business thanks to big companies like Walmart and Home Depot.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


I keep having these sex dreams with Morgan Fairchild who I haven't had a crush on for over 5 years and it's really starting to bother my mind.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006


I just watched an old movie that Burt Reynolds plays in called Deliverance and if your thinking about watching it, no need.

Monday, February 13, 2006


Knock knock.

Thursday, February 09, 2006


I can't believe they cancelled Arrested Development because that show is the epitomy of hilarious.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006


I am almost finished writing my screenplay I Slept With William Hung but am really struggling with the third act.

Monday, January 30, 2006


For the second time in my life I broke a promise I made to myself to never eat at Fazoli's.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006


Yesterday I had about the worse headache I've ever had in this life.

Monday, January 23, 2006


If you've never seen M.C. Escher's work, then you don't know the meaning of trippy.

Thursday, January 19, 2006


Today I saw a guy wearing pleated pants and I was like, you don't.

Thursday, January 12, 2006


Today is one of those days where about the only thing you can do is shrug your shoulders and say "Hakuna matata."

Friday, January 06, 2006


Not to brag, but my letter to the editor got published in Cat Fancy.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006


My friend Emily (who is depressed) told me she bowled a 38 the other night which is horrible and I told her at least it wasn't life that she got a 38 in.

Monday, January 02, 2006


How about this? Good thing we don't have a lady for the president other wise we'd go to war at least once a month! LOL.

Thursday, December 29, 2005


I got the Boat Trip DVD for Christmas and let me just say, hilarious.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005


My brother Terrence called me a ham but he's the one whose the ham.

Monday, December 26, 2005


The thing I don't get is why the level designers of on Star Wars: Battlefront II think being lost is fun. Or why the chewbaccas cheat so bad. Or why it takes 90 light years to reload your shotgun. All needless things.

Sunday, December 25, 2005


I hope "yule" have the best holiday season ever!

Thursday, December 22, 2005


Although Ray Harryhausen would say Jason of the Argonauts is his best piece, I'd part ways with him there and say that Clash of the Titans was his best movie even though I'm no fan of Harry Hamblin or Burgess Meredith.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005


The Christmas season is upon us. In a matter of days, it will be Chritmas Day. I hope all of my close peeps have been doing there shopping ;).

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


Oh yeah, my class I was doing this blog for is over is why I haven't posted for a good spell. I haven't decided yet of I'm going to keep doing the blog, now that the class is over.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


OMG! My uncle who looks like the man in the moon drinks his buttermilk straight up.

Monday, December 12, 2005


If there's one thing I love it's going to the movies and if there's one thing I hate, it's when I spilled my refreshment all over my lap when I was at the movies last Friday. Arghhh!

Friday, December 09, 2005


My brother Terrence and I are not talking right now because he stole my book of free recipies which I would have loaned to him if he would have just asked. Instead, he took it without asking and I damn hate that.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005


I've never seen the show Lost so last night when I was watching it with my friends, I was the one who was "lost." LOL!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005


I wonder if yet again my mom is going to do her Christmas shopping at the island of unwanted toys.

Monday, December 05, 2005


I think jokes about Viagra are pretty funny because, you know, boners.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005


When I was a kid I wanted to be Burt Reynolds and now that I'm older, I still want to be him. You can tell he has everything under control.

Monday, November 28, 2005


I refused to eat turkey, not because of my politics, but because I don't want damn bird flu. This led to a lot of contention in the household; my folks just don't get it so I am forced to humor them.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005


There use to be this kid in school named Joab who thought he was Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse who was silent, but tough. Truth be told, he was more like a complete idiot than anything.

Monday, November 21, 2005


You can tell that that kid Talin on The O.C. was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

Friday, November 18, 2005


I'm usually not one to splurge, but I have been known to shop at The Gap on occasion.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005


I forgot to insert this on my blog earlier but this year for Halloween I was a vampirate.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


Sometimes life is nothing but a nonstop roast.

Monday, November 14, 2005


If I smell like red curry, its because I spilled some on my outfit this morning.

Friday, November 11, 2005


Earlier this week I had depression but it banished as soon as I took some of St. John's Wart.

Thursday, November 10, 2005


I want to make some thing clear re: my recent post about hate crimes. I CANNOT STAND THEM. I am tired of others questioning me on my stance on this topic.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005


Yet another thing to add to the list of things I hate: hate crime.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005


My friend Pablo has an idea for a seasonal beverage called Big Nog and I think that's about the worst idea ever. (He doesn't know a thing about this website so I can vent about him all I want).

Monday, November 07, 2005


My blades are back safely in their pouch where I keep them.

Thursday, November 03, 2005


I forgot I told my friend she could use my baldes so never mind on them getting stolen. My bad.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005


Yesterday my brand new pair of rollerblades were stolen. We're talking $200 blades that I've only used twice. Nothing drives me more batty than needless thieving.

Sunday, October 30, 2005


If I ever meet the man who invented the caramel apple, I'm gonna say, "Here's to you, gov'nah! Keep them caramel apples a'comin."

Friday, October 28, 2005


Wednesday, October 26, 2005


I never realized this before, but Alfredo is both the name of a person and the name of a sauce.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005


I currently have the biggest headache I've ever had in this life.

Friday, October 14, 2005


I just found out that my favorite actor Peter Mayhew just become a US citizen.

Thursday, October 13, 2005


What, they're good enough to plan your wedding but not good enough to have there own?

Wednesday, October 12, 2005


I'm supposed to be doing other homework right now but I say "screw that!" Sometimes you have to just let your hair down. This does not mean that I think it's okay to say "yes" to drugs.

Monday, October 10, 2005


Shrek is such a funny ogre. Real ogres typically don't have that good of a sense of humor. I think Shrek HAS to be funny to make up for how ugly he is.

Thursday, October 06, 2005


My brother Terrence told me that he's not going to do ANY substance abuse until the the night the new Harry Potter comes out.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005


I just looked up the black guy in Radio on the internet and his name is Cuba Gooding Jr. and he also plays in Boat Trip which is about a ship full of gays.

Sunday, October 02, 2005


My brother Terrence said that if I was an animal I'd be a hedgehog and I hate to say it, but he's right.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005


My childhood crush on Tina Yothers ended when she played the titular role in Spunk: The Tonya Harding Story.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005


I never cry in movies but the black guy's performance in Radio was so money that I lost it. I can hardly fathom that he is not handicap in real life.

Monday, September 19, 2005


And God spoke, "Are we having fun yet?" LOL.

Thursday, September 15, 2005


Does anyone know if Christopher Columbus (the director, not the Captain of the Sea) has directed anything since Patch Adams and Bicentenniel Man?

Wednesday, September 14, 2005


If anyone knows how to play "Human Bingo," please let me know quick.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005


Two Words: Olive Garden.

Thursday, September 08, 2005


I just spent the past 4 hours discovering Josh Groban and let's just say that I now what all of the hullaballoo is about. AMAZING!

Wednesday, September 07, 2005


Nothing drives me more crazy in the world of gaming than when I am compelled to utter the following four words: "You sank my battleship."

Thursday, September 01, 2005


Freedom is more than just a word.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005


My brother Terrence has an idea for a product called "I Can't Believe I Ate All The Butter" but I don't think it will fly.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005


In Jerry McGuire, I die laughing every time the black guy says, "Show me the money." More like, show me the money.

Sunday, August 28, 2005


The other day I saw these two dogs humping in public like a bunch of perverts.

Friday, August 26, 2005


Those who watches "Desperate Housewives" are desperate housewives themselves.

Thursday, August 25, 2005


We ate at Sizzler's the other night and I had probably the best steak I've ever had in this life.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005


Today is one of those days where you wake up, and the world's and your beckon call.

Sunday, August 21, 2005


OMG! I can't believe some people still have mullets.

Saturday, August 20, 2005


My dad won't let me ride his Segway, but I say "screw him." I'm riding it anyway.

Friday, August 19, 2005


I'm glad I didn't follow through with my decision to change my name to Fernando.

Monday, August 15, 2005


There is a god! I just found out that they are making Mrs. Doubtfire 2 and Robin Williams will be up to his old tricks again as the main guy/girl.

Friday, August 12, 2005


Yet another thing to add to the list of things I have a hatred for: AIDS. It is a worldwide epidemic that affects more than just gays.


My brother Terrence said Miracle Whip is what poor people like and I have to agree with him.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005


A friend of mine once pointed out that the problem with mimes is that they are always undressing you with their eyes.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005


Probably the best part of my morning routine is what happens after I say, "I'll have a McGriddles and a parfait, por favor."

Monday, August 08, 2005


To use the old baseball analogy, sometimes God likes to throw the old curveball at you.


I can't believe George Bush keeps going to his ranch in Crawford.


Where my brother Terrence works they put a bowl of dog food labeled "Terrence" by his cubicle. My brother is not a damn dog.

Sunday, August 07, 2005


I tell you what, the guy who plays Ron in Harry Potter is a real slag.


My brother's thinking of starting a restaurant called Affordable Burger and I support him.

Friday, August 05, 2005


When it comes to eating disorders, the media's to blame.

Thursday, August 04, 2005


All I know is that if you've never read Chicken Soup for the Soul, then your not really that serious about changing your life for the better.


I say, "it's none of my business what others do behind closed doors."


This is pissing me off that I can't figure out how to change the "About Me" section because I was just experimenting when it put that so just ignore it.


You might as well add terrorism to the list of things I can't stand.


Guilty Pleasure: I LOVE the new Kelly Clarkson song.


The other day I saw a picture of an apple, bacon, and p.b. sandwich. What is the world coming to?


I just saw The Island and I think Scarlett Johnson who plays as the main girl is way fine!!!


People are totally going to read my blog.


You know what I've had enough of? George Bush. I'm tired of his crap and can't wait till his out of office.


I have to do this blog for a class. It's not even my idea.